Episode 38
The Power of Unschooling: Helping Your Teen Succeed Beyond Traditional Education
My guest today, Terry Travers, is the CEO and Founder of Astrolabe.
”It is such a pleasure to see frustrated, insecure teens metamorphose into competent and confident young adults. At AAHS, we give them the tools they need to succeed in a 21st Century future. We show them kindness, compassion, and trust. We allow them to learn to work independently, to experiment, and to develop the skills to not only solve problems but to recognize them ahead of time. “
We all want to do right by our children. One of the big stressors for many parents is making sure our children get the best education possible to set them up for lifelong success.
Our firstborn was incredibly bright, engaged, and so eager to learn. But the death of a close family member and issues with school dampened that. As time went on, teachers labeled her and threatened to hold her back. I pulled her to homeschool, and the struggles continued. She seemed to HATE learning and fought the entire process. It was a battle of the wills, and we were both losing.
This struggle went on for several years. Meanwhile, our relationship went downhill, and as she moved into her pre-teen years, life was full of angst, anger, and fighting. I was losing my precious child and had no idea how to turn this around.
Two things happened around the same time…
The first - while I was bemoaning this to a friend, she recommended I pick up a book by Kevin Leman titled “Have a New Kid by Friday.” Wow. That book changed everything. But what’s funny is the title should actually be “Have a New Parent by Friday” - because that’s what it is all about - the parenting style. The biggest thing I learned was to listen.
The second thing that happened was I was offered a consulting job and had to be away three days/per week and work at home the other days. It involved a long commute, so my days away started early and ended late, and I was exhausted. My dad stepped up to watch and homeschool the kids. On my days at home, I was recovering from the previous very long day, doing actual work and attempting to school the kids. That third one - didn’t happen. What happened instead was the beginning of our journey into unschooling. That opened up a world I never imagined.
I now help parents who struggle with their teens because of school issues/anxiety find another path for their education. Along the way, I help and encourage re-connecting with that child.
For parents whose relationship with their teen is less than desirable - and perhaps most of that strife is school related - I recommend three steps to turn things around.
#1 LISTEN - Treat your kids with respect. Offer your trust. Avoid their drama. Never take anything they say or do personally. Have conversations when you are both calm and LISTEN to them.
#2 FOCUS ON WHAT IS WORKING - find out what is going well and find ways to use what’s going right in areas where things aren’t going right. We too often focus on what’s wrong and how to fix it. When we focus on strengths and positive outcomes, things work much better, and we feel better.
#3 RESEARCH ALTERNATIVES - As parents, we are thoroughly trained that our modern school and curriculum are the only way to get a solid foundation for a good life and a successful career, even though the actual data shows the opposite. We need to let go of our notions about education and look for alternative methods that will actually help our teens thrive.
Terry Travers
Have questions?
Schedule a call: https://calendly.com/astrolabe-academy/info
Astrolabe Academy
Astrolabe Academy is a virtual school and community that guides teen students to success through learner-centered education.
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